if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
