Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
