One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
