How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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