so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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