I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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