I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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