It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
