Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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