i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
