Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
