okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
