Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
