1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
