yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
