He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
