I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
