told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
