3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
