and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
