so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
