she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
