no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
