I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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