dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
did i just pee glitter
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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