She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
