the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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