My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
