We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
