I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
