i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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