wat bout pragnant strippers??
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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