I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
