I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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