Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
