Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
