I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
