I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
