the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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