is your mom at the bar?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
