Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
