his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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