Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
