Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
