Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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