Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Your cock deserves a montage
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
