I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
