Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
