Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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