It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
