you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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