I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
